Monday, July 9, 2012

No, Amos is not Jack, but that's okay.

We completed our second night with Amos.  The thunderstorm that rolled through was loud and scary and he whimpered a bit.  I was wakeful, and asked him out of his crate.  We shared soft words and cuddles until the noise was gone.
Amos with Lorri.  He likes to get right up next to you, so you can give him a nice scratch.
When I left Moses Lake with the two dogs in the car, I confess some very conflicted feelings that left me on the edge.  First, I was truly moved by how much I was drawn to Amos.  He was very vulnerable, being taken from his long time family, riding in a car (something he wasn't super comfortable with.)  He is a beautiful dog with striking features, and with a very sweet disposition.  It left me feeling guilty.  Two months ago my heart was broken; my friend was gone, dead.  I spent the part of a week crying whenever I thought of him.  The only thing that seemed to save me was work. Was I dishonoring my Jack's memory because I was drawn to Amos?  I had some of those feelings yesterday, and I have them today.
Lucy's trying to figure out what the heck this is all about.  Tonight she dismantled a tennis ball just to show it this Amos guy is no big deal.
I think the answer is no.  I have not replaced Jack.  Jack is irreplaceable, just as Lucy is, and Amos will be.  It's amazing how much Australian Shepherds are like people.  They are distinctly different from one another, as different as my son Patrick is from my son Casey.  I love them both the same, but Patrick is wildly creative and entertaining, while Casey is reflective and introspective. But they are both wonderful, interesting young men I love to be around.   The same is true of these wonderfully entertaining dogs.  Jack was all on fire, all the time.  Lucy is sweet, but demanding.  Amos is, well, I haven't quite figured that out yet.
Lorri, catching a moment away from doggie affection and watching the Newsroom.
I do know this: he's starting to be more comfortable.  We were out before 5:00 walking today. He was great on the leash, easily seeming as comfortable as Lucy. He wanders the house looking for us now.  He jumped up on the bed this morning, sheepishly slinking across the coverlet before flopping on his back for a tummy scratch.  Lorri and I talked about the possibility of agility training, because he needs a job.  However, his biggest job is to be my companion.  There is a still a huge hole in my life, and I still miss my little red dog, but Amos is making it a lot easier.

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